Why weird is my new wonderful.

By Sammie Venn Jeeni’s Official Writer, Columnist and Blogger.

The dictionary definition of weird is “extraordinary, out of this world” I remember the feeling of utter hope and merriment when I read that. I suddenly didn’t feel alone anymore. Once I fully released my inner oddball, the magic started to happen. The people who I thought I loved and loved me just fell away. It was like watching grains of sand slip through my fingers. At the time it felt like a gigantic loss but in hindsight it was the best gift I could have been given. I’m grateful every day for all the losses as what I have gained surpasses anything I could have dreamt of. I came out of the “kooky closet” said a tentative hello to my new surroundings and have never looked back.

Having always felt like I had trodden a different path in life, I used to feel embarrassed about my so called “weirdness”. A damaging label that was attributed over the course of many years. Always being on the periphery at school, shallow friendships and poor choices in men made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

Decades later I began the journey of coming to terms with whatever it was that made me feel a bit different. I read countless books, watched documentaries on Gaia, downloaded as many spiritual audibles as I could afford and after a period of counselling I realised that actually being “different” totally rocked and I certainly wasn’t the only one experiencing all those feelings of self-doubt. Self-doubt had finally set sail to distant shores and my passport to a happier more soulful life had been stamped with creativity with no expiration date.

 My wired but wonderful List…So I’m not ashamed of saying that…

3am – the hour of writers, poets, musicians, silence seekers and overthinkers – In this crazy time that is 3am I really do achieve a lot of work. The silence is accompanied with prolific bird song and the sunrise paints a spectacular sunset across the fields. So there is no better landscape for creativity.

Gardening at Night -I water my roses at midnight in an old fashioned Victorian nightie with a gin and tonic in hand. The kiss of the night time breeze provides a magical space to reflect on the past 24 hours and plan the next.

Adventure at work –I have made a home office in my camper van and drive to various different places to work and mediate and be away from the humdrum of daily life. I need to be portable otherwise I feel stagnant and confined. My camper caters for most needs; a whistling kettle for fresh coffee, a writing station and insanely comfortable bed for those cheeky afternoon power naps.

Writing Erotica –I love to write erotic poetry and have an entire bookcase at home dedicated to naughtiness throughout the ages. Ancient manuscripts and recent tomes dedicated to Love, and all of the emotions surrounding it adorn the shelves.

Wild words and Soul Magic – I have about 10 different tarot desks I particularly Love Rebecca Campbell’s “Work your light” the illustrations are as magical as her words. I love to practice either quietly by myself or with my bestie in London. We savour our weekends as they are few and far between these days but we still write together and have created different worlds where we pretend to live like we were once warrior soul sisters. In fact lockdown has been perfect for that.

 There are so many other things I do in my arsenal of “weird but wonderful” and I wouldn’t be without any of them now. Lewis Carroll wrote in “Alice in Wonderland” “you’re mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I’ll Tell you a secret. All the best people are”. Definitely my mantra, it even sits as a plaque on my wall in the studio.

Have you got any practices or quirks that you embrace? We would love to hear about them.

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Published by Jeeni

I am a founding director of Jeeni. Jeeni is an online platform for independent musicians and performers. Jeeni is for everyone and anyone creative: musicians, voice-artists, performers, poets, singer-songwriters ... hey, the list is endless. We aim to connect, collaborate, share and support each other, while we have fun and make a real difference.

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